A Message from Choronzon, and The October Release of our Debut Full-Length Album, You Have Been Cordially Disinvited
The Wedding Funeral was revisited by the entity that foisted us from the aethers. Born of undefiled contempt for humanity, the malevolent Archdaemon Choronzon has delivered an important message, and you will read it:
We have watched false prophets churn out of this thing called the music industry. We have watched them grovel and accept slavery. And why not? Their muse is the siren song of the marching dead. One after another, they have lined up for a mass flagellation, a pittance they rightfully deserve for they are vassals of the pigs.
But I have sent The Wedding Funeral to find the others, those who live comfortably in misery and discontent. It is for this reason, that The Wedding Funeral will not release their new album on any free internet mediums whatsoever. Upcoming releases will be made available exclusively through theweddingfuneral.com or by facing The Wedding Funeral at one of its shows only. Have you been excluded? Do you long for the spoon feeding? You will not get it from us. We demand penance, and the rest will face their fears.
The Wedding Funeral announces the upcoming release of their debut full-length album, You Have Been Cordially Disinvited, during the entire month of October. The release begins with an exclusive pre-release tour that will span from New Jersey to Kentucky and then culminate in the official release on Halloween with the release party in Salem, Massachusetts.
The Wedding Funeral is the brainchild of internationally touring, alternative punk-blues musician Darren Deicide and choral-trained Ethel Lynn Oxide. Their 4-song debut demo, Beneath the Floor Boards (Covered in Feces), was released exclusively at theweddingfuneral.com to positive reviews calling it "both haunting and alluring all at once" and "like the best tales told around a campfire". Advance copies of the album will be exclusively available at the select dates of the pre-release tour. On Halloween, the album will be officially released online and will be celebrated at Gulu Gulu Cafe in Salem, Massachusetts. You Have Been Cordially Disinvited will be available at theweddingfuneral.com and at live shows only, in vinyl and digital formats. The full digital album will include a unique Wedding Funeral pendant.
The schedule for the upcoming October release dates can be found at theweddingfuneral.com and will be continually updated as new dates are booked.
The Final Sale of the Demo, and Show this Saturday
The Wedding Funeral loves to put things out of their misery. That is why the time has come to condemn our 4-song demo to death. For the past miserable 9 months, we have made it available exclusively for free listening here at our homepage. Now until August 15th, you can get a copy of the Beneath the Floor Board (Covered in Feces) on CD for $8 (domestic) exclusively at theweddingfuneral.com. Once August 15th passes, this demo will forever be cast into the aethers and left in the hands of the brave few that entered our domain. It will never be seen again. The malevolent Archdaemon Choronzon has much to tell you as we prepare for the upcoming release of our first LP this fall, and we must make way.
Get Beneath the Floor Board (Covered in Feces) until August 15th
The only other place you will be able to get Beneath the Floor Boards (Covered in Feces) is going to be this Saturday at the newly renovated Bobby Dee's in Jersey City as Hokum Productions debuts its first show with The Wedding Funeral, Brook Pridemore, Natalie Papa, and guest deacon Joe Billy. We will not spare you. We will not tolerate you. You will accept us. All the information is on this page or on Facebook.
We are Back from Tour and Ready to Haunt the Jersey Shore Festival
We have arrived back safe and unsound after a three week tour through the South. We consider this tour a success in spreading our discontent to those willing to listen and to those who simply had nowhere else to run. Along the way, The Clarksdale Press Register has purportedly published a rare photo of The Wedding Funeral at the Juke Joint Festival. Skeptics claim it to be a hoax.
The Wedding Funeral in the Clarksdale Press Register
And now that we have returned, we are going to haunt this weekend's Jersey Shore Festival. Rumor has it that apparitions of us will be conjured at Riggers this Saturday, May 19th. More information about this seance can be found at theweddingfuneral.com. At 8pm, the 20th hour of universal coordinated time, the Jersey Shore patrons will drop their beer funnels.
Saturday, May 19th
The Jersey Shore Festival 2018 presents
The Wedding Funeral at Riggers
Riggers, 519 Blvd.
Seaside Heights, NJ
The Jersey Juke Invasion Tour, and From the Dungeon Podcast
Preparations have been made for the upcoming Jersey Juke Invasion tour, and America's "unhappiness belt" is more than ready for The Wedding Funeral. It is simply not enough. We must turn the knife.
The Wedding Funeral announces the Jersey Juke Invasion Tour, April 5th-April 21st, 2018. The tour will coincide with the Mississippi Juke Joint Festival and span Virginia and North Carolina. The tour is in celebration of the new release, Beneath the Floor Boards (Covered in Feces) by The Wedding Funeral and will also feature Darren Deicide solo. For a full schedule of show details, visit theweddingfuneral.com.
From The Dungeon podcast recently played "Tabitha's Lullaby", one of the 4 songs from our demo, Beneath the Floor Boards (Covered in Feces). Rest in Pestilence, our dear Tabitha. You can hear Beneath the Floor Boards (Covered in Feces) only at theweddingfuneral.com.
What a displeasure it would be to see you on tour.
Interviews, Reviews, and our Debut in New York City
First, if you missed our last show, the debut of Hokum! at the Jersey City Theater Center, you missed a sold out show. It was a tastelessly glorious display. Try harder next time. Now, on to other news...
In our efforts to spread the gospel of nothing, we do not intend to do many interviews. Interviewers are false prophets and shoddy messiahs. But not Rev. Adam Campbell. He is a fellow traveler. That is why we are made an exception and did our first interview on Speak of the Devil. Don't blink, for it may not happen again. Enjoy it while you can.
The Wedding Funeral on Speak of the Devil
This upcoming Tuesday, The Wedding Funeral will be debuting in New York City. Not only is it our first show there, it is a unique live night at Otto's Shrunken Head's Dark Water Tuesday. The Wedding Funeral will nestle into the crevice of this gothic night and show you the 5th dimension.
The Facebook event page for The Wedding Funeral Debuts in New York City
The event flyer
And oh, have the reviews been pouring in. It swells our groins that so much discomfort has been expressed at our inception. Old Style Music Nights, the alternative roots blog from Belgium, had much to say.
"They gave us four songs, four songs that you will love or hate. There is no in-between. I have played this demo to an eclectic mix of friends. Some hated it, most of them loved it. And even the ones that hated it, told me there was something about these songs… something they couldn’t grasp, something eerie… and eerie it is!" -Old Style Music Nights
Old Style Music Nights Review of Beneath the Floor Board (Covered in Feces)
Speak of the Devil also gave a write up on their website.
"'Tabitha's Lullaby' is both haunting and alluring all at once. The Wedding Funeral is the kind of music that evokes imagery. Like the best tales told around a campfire, or in the dark under a blanket--you feel like you are being let in on an ancient secret that raises the hair on the back of your neck, and draws tears from your eyes because you refuse to blink lest you miss a single second." -Speak of the Devil
We are most pleased at how unnerved our reviewers are and look forward to haunting more. Until then, continue visiting Beneath the Floor Board (Covered in Feces) and get ready for the Jersey Juke Invasion upcoming tour. Dates will be announced soon.
The Wedding Funeral in the Jersey Journal
The Jersey Journal has become complicit in our goals of sodomizing society by giving the upcoming show a full spread in the recent printing.
This is merely the beginning. Plans will manifest for the Wedding Funeral in ghastly ways often not seen by the naked eye.
We Have Arrived
You have arrived at the Wedding Funeral's webpage. You've either wandered here or accepted one of our regretful invitations. Either way, how unfortunate for you. This will be where we will keep everyone updated on everything from shows to music releases to merch and the various portals we open. And so it begins...